Let's talk about werewolves
Ideas sparked off each other, and I had to go dig up this bit of nonsense I'd stumbled across at some point, and then make it readable, since it was a series of screen caps from Tumblr.
@marzo2theletter
Why is it that every werewolf book is this weird testosterone fueled alpha male/female romance thing?
Like guys. werewolves are family groups. They are basically big ol’ dog families. Your werewolf family wouldn’t be made up of alpha males fighting each other for dominance and subjugating females.
If there was a werewolf in your neighborhood, they’d be that family of 10 kids always roughhousing outside and their house is the one all the neighborhood kids go to hang out at because Mr. Werewolf and Mrs. Werewolf are the Cool Parents that their kids find really embarrassing.
@avatar-dacia
“Wait...Emily? Aren’t she and her whole family...you know?”
“Don’t believe everything you’ve heard; worst thing that’s ever happened over there is the twins teething on visitors’ shoes.”
@prokopetz
Here’s the thing, though. While the notion of the “alpha wolf” is indeed misguided, being based on observations of wolves in captivity, the dominance thing does happen. And it’s not just the adult males; adult females do it too - but it’s only a thing when wolves who aren’t related by blood end up sharing a habitat.
So consider: by some happenstance, two unrelated werewolf families end up living across the street from one another. Of course they’re not going to start brawling in the streets - they’re civilized people, after all - but that urge to show the other pack who’s boss comes out in other ways, resulting in the two clans getting, like, weirdly competitive about everything.
Imagine the Halloween displays.
@severalows
Are you trying to tell me that the most hardcore ride-or-die PTA mothers are probably actually werewolves?
@therobotmonster
“We’re settling this through the old ways, Helen.”
“Spiked silver chains on the night of the blood moon?”
“The spring bake sale, Helen. Turn it down a notch.”
“Fine. But when they taste my lemon squares you’re going to wish we’d gone with the silver chains, Jessi.”
Meanwhile, across the room:
“You know what I like doin’ Rob?”
“What’s that Bill?”
“Peening out of doors.”
“Me too, Bill. But I thought you just married into the whole werewolf thing.”
“I’m just making conversation, Rob.”
@cheesseanonioncrisps
I like it. The house in between their two houses is owned by a vampire family who deliberately fuel the fire because they like to watch the drama.
(What? Just because you’re not allowed to kill werewolves anymore, doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with them.)
“Oh, hi Helen. Putting up the Christmas decorations, I see?”
“Yep, this light show’ll make this our best Christmas display yet.”
“Oh great! You know the Johnsons have got life-size singing reindeer as part of their display.”
Helen’s perfectly manicured nails grow another two centimeters.
“Oh they have, have they? Oh is that the time! I’m sorry Lilith, I’ve just got to go to the shops.”
She returns three hours later with six reindeer and a giant inflatable Father Christmas. Lilith runs off to tell the neighbors.
@sunshine-tattoo
I would watch the f*ck outta this garbage sitcom
@selenekallanwriter
Across from the vampires lives a family of Fae. True to their nature, they turn up their noses at the garish decorations and the childish behavior of the werewolf families, while secretly betting with the vampires on who will show the claws first: Jessi or Helen.
Again; not mine, but I’d read or watch the (heck) out of it if it was presented properly ; )